How to Advocate for you Child Needing More Support in School: My Personal Experience

Introduction

All too often, moms are expected to “know it all” about their children. This is an unrealistic expectation of us, especially when it comes to our own kids! The reality is, the rest of the world likely sees a very different version of your child than you do as their parent. This can present complications when we, as parents, have a differing opinion about what our child may need at school than what the school is proposing.

This is a situation in which I encounter regularly as an educational advocate and owner of an online tutoring & dyslexia therapy company. In fact, it is something I encountered with my own child. I hope that by sharing my experience, I can help other parents, and even teachers and administrators, better understand Special Education law, the IEP process, and how we can advocate for our children.

When I started to suspect my daughter might have dyslexia:

Towards the end of first grade, I began suspecting that my oldest daughter might have dyslexia. Her teacher was “on the fence” and recognized that she did not seem to be performing quite up to her abilities when it came to reading. She thought that if we gave her more time to overcome her anxiety around reading, things would click into place.

I was not sure I agreed, but I also knew that it was unlikely that my daughter would qualify for any school-based services because I knew she would not test “low enough” on standardized assessments. Her grades were fine, and she appeared to be just slightly below grade level on some, but not all, progress measures.

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She also struggles with anxiety, so this made it difficult to figure out what was really driving the bus - difficult with reading, or difficulty overcoming anxiety. She continued to steadily progress through 1st-grade content, but I always knew that it was not quite the amount of progress she was capable of achieving.

An important side note: you may be wondering why I did not just start working with her at home… I mean, I am a dyslexia therapist, right? Well, tell me you do not have kids (with LDs) without telling me you do not have kids. She wanted nothing to do with reading at home, and ESPECIALLY did not want me to switch out my mom hat for my teacher hat. She flat-out refused to work with him, and it caused way more anxiety and frustration whenever I pushed.

Here is what I did, and what you should do next:

Fast forward to the beginning of second grade. Our school uses MAP testing to track student progress, and my sweet and smart girl just tanked the beginning-of-the-year assessment. I decided I was done waiting and forced myself to take the advice I would give any client. I left my Parent-Teacher conference and immediately emailed the teacher and principal as soon as I got home, officially requested the evaluation.

Step 1

If you truly believe your child is struggling academically and needs support, the first thing you need to do is request a Full Individual Evaluation (FIE) in writing. Someone along the lines of: “I am writing to request a Full Individual Evaluation of my child because I suspect they may have a disability in (reading, math, emotional regulation, etc…) which has a significant educational impact. Evidence of my concerns is (insert information here about grades, progress monitoring, state assessments, teacher concerns, etc…)

The school accepted my request to complete an evaluation, which they do not always have to do, and I patiently waited for the 45 school year timeline to pass.. (If your school is arguing that they do not want to complete an evaluation, LD Expert can help with Special Education Advocacy Services). Shortly before the allotted time window expired, I received a phone call from the Educational Diagnostician who completed the testing, letting me know that my daughter did not qualify for services, and that we would be having a DNQ (does not qualify) ARD the following week.

I politely informed her that what she was saying is illegal, and that eligibility cannot be decided outside of the IEP committee, which included me.

Step 2

The school will schedule a meeting with you to review the testing results and discuss your child’s eligibility for special education. They are NOT allowed to predetermine whether or not your child qualifies, and this decision should be made as a group during the allotted meeting time. Your vote counts here, and your voice should be heard before any decisions are made. If you disagree with the eligibility determination, you are allowed to request an Independent Educational Evaluation (IEE), which can dig a bit deeper and collect more data about a suspected disability. These are outside evaluations conducted by a private practitioner that the school pays for.

Handling the IEP Eligibility Meeting

This meeting was, by far, the most emotionally charged meeting I have ever walked into. I spent days going back and forth with the educational diagnostician, explaining my daughter’s profile, special education law, and why I planned to disagree with her eligibility determination. For this specific situation, I did not want to request an IEE because I knew that my daughter’s classroom teacher and the dyslexia therapist all thought she needed to qualify.

I felt that it was unfair to put my daughter through additional stress or testing when, according to SpEd law, we do not make an eligibility determination based on standard scores alone. In fact, it is a committee decision based on educational need, and everyone working with my daughter on a daily basis felt that she needed the specialized instruction.

During the meeting, I presented my case, explained how eligibility determinations are made, and listened to everything the school had to share as well. It was clear towards the end of the meeting that we all saw a need for my daughter to have specialized instruction, and that we disagreed with the educational diagnostician. (I am simplifying this case greatly.

My daughter happens to have a 2E profile, meaning she has a gifted IQ but also a learning disability. These types of profiles often do not show scores that are below average in the area of concern, but should not rule out a disability. Additionally, my daughter had been in RTI for 2 years and still was not showing the progress we all felt she should.)

Eventually, our principal, who was the administrator on the IEP committee, acted as the LEA to overrule the recommendation of the Educational Diagnostician and qualify my daughter for services. (YAY!)

Step 3

This is the develop an IEP. This is when you work as a committee to come up with measurable and appropriate goals for the student that will be tracked over the course of the next calendar year. Progress will be reported at regular intervals, and this goal will guide the instruction. You will also create a list of appropriate accommodations for your child (e.g. reading test aloud to the student) that are listed in their IEP, and that every class will follow according to the document.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I relied heavily on the professionals at the school to help me understand what my daughter needed. I actually told the dyslexia therapist to speak to me like I knew nothing about dyslexia, because I wanted to be sure I was not just projecting onto my child, and that she genuinely needed this extra support. It was assuring to have her teacher and the specialist agree that they felt her aptitude did not match her achievement. Together as a team, we were able to advocate for my child and get her the free and appropriate education she deserves! She is now thriving, and her reading has improved immensely!

Should you even find yourself feeling overwhelmed during the special education referral process or strongly disagreeing with the school, do not hesitate to reach out to LD Expert. We are happy to help with special education advocacy and be right there with you to stand up for your child.